I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize