Can i not drive my cunt home
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
