Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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