In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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