he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
