I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
