what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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