I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
