So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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