dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
