he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
