It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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