There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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