I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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