Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
