Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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