I feel like abortions should bother me more
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
