So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
