another moral hangover. fuck.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My bed smells like the plague
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
