one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize