i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
And then he peed in my hair
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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