Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
