Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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