dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
