Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize