I wannas sexs uuuuu
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
