Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
