its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
