Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
