Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
