Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
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