dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
