and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Randomize
