im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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