piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
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