I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
