I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
