Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
