i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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