im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
