My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
