We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize