We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
