They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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