My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I need water and some morals
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
