are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
