If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
