I just gift wrapped bread.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
