guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
