HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
