I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
