But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
