Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
