I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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