Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
