I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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