So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
