I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Don't make out with my wife yet
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
