okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
