I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
