I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
